People Change

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

 Assalamualaikum wr wb. Okay Salam Ramadhan to everyone and today's topic is such a cliche as you can see there. People Change.

I used to dwell so much when I tend to lose some people in life. Keep wondering why have they changed so much and simply walked off. I wonder why some relationship doesnt turn out well even though it had been for so many years. I just wonder why do people change.

Well to think of it back. Everyone change. For as time passes we cant really hope things would remain the same. Feelings fade. And #facts, we are human beings, and hati manusia tak pernah tetap. Sedang dgn Allah je boleh goyang apatah lagi dengan perkara lain kat dunia nie.

I had a hard time reflecting on this, and yes, I finally agree that, people change. And so do I.

Yesterday as I had my fingers on the keyboards, I browsed through 3 of private blogs which they were all last updated in 2010. I got damn speechless when most of the posts were all poems and some kinda of nukilan here and there. And there it goes, how I realise, how much I've really changed ><

Siapa sangka saya mampu mengarang puisi? Cerpen?. Nukilan2 yang jiwang-jiwang belaka?. Yang mana bila saya sendiri baca sekarang, sampai terasa menusuk kalbu. Sampai tak percaya, itu hasil nukilan saya ke?. Biar betul?.

Saya duduk entah berapa lama semalam. Cuba nak mengarang beberapa rangkap puisi pon tak mampu. Tergagap-gagap. Mulut terkumat kamit tapi entah apa yang cuba nak disampaikan. Bahasa pun tak pandai dah nak berbunga2. Idea ada, "object" nya dah ada. Hati ligat berbisik2. Tapi entah kenapa tak terluah langsung. Sama ada kat kertas, atau kat Microsoft Word nie. 

I sat back and had a deep thought, where is the old me?. T.T

Writing was my passion. Benda2 sentimental memang itu jiwa saya.

But what happened now?. >< Sekarang seolah2 hati ni dah jadi keras. 

Well I guess the personality test has proven all. Dari phlegmatic ke sanguine, ke choleric. Lebih outspoken, tak suka lagi nak pendam2. Tak suka lagi nak berkias bahasa. Lebih suka berterus terang. 

Sebab tu ke skill menulis hilang?. 

Tak nafi, beberapa nukilan hampir buat saya termuntah sendiri, atas sebab jiwang yang teramat. Tapi ada juga yang menusuk jauh sampai ke dasar hati. Betapa halusnya jiwa dulu. Berbanding sekarang. Boleh tengok dari cara saya tulis semua post kan?. ><

Betul kata Abg Mirul. Betul kata Atikah Zakaria. Now I found the reasons why we are required to write. Bila baca balik semua post kat blog2 lama tuh, sesungguhnya, baru saya sedar, saya dah banyak berubah. Entah macam mana hati boleh jadi keras macam skrg ni. Entah macam mana ego boleh meninggi tak macam dulu. Lebih suka mengalah. Lebih suka appreciate orang dalam kata-kata. Ada aje post yg ditujukan untuk kengkawan. Sbb nak hargai dorang.. Tak kira kawan lelaki atau perempuan.

Sekarang?. "Tak nak lah. Nanti makwe dorang marah pulak." "Tak nak lah. Nanti orang termuntah pulak.. Benda kecik pon nak berpuisi bagai..". "Buat puisi utk perempuan?. Mcm lain mcm aje?."

Well I did that back then ! I really did. Bila baca balik. Dan ingat balik. Dulu bangga adalah bila menulis untuk orang. Tak pernah kisah pon apa orang fikir. Yang penting kita nak orang tu baca dan tau kita memang sayang dia, sbb tu mention kat blog Sekarang?. *tariknafasdalamdalam*

We are not getting any younger and we just cant turn back the time. I am who I am right now. Whoever I used to be in the past shall be a lesson to be,as well as a step for me to keep on moving forward, being a better one in the future. Mana tau, bakat menulis tu satu hari tiba2 datang balik kan?.

Cause what I can really say now,

I miss writing. Writing with deep passion. 

Okay stay tuned for the next post. Its about Jodoh.

Okay, JODOH PART 2.

Since I wrote one about this much earlier.

And be ready.

Im gonna include one of my nukilan in the next post.

Be ready not to vomit. :p