Kawan. Sekali lagi.

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Semester 1, Tahun 3.

Cepat masa berlalu. Tak terasa yang diri hanya ada 2 lagi semester kat UM ni.

Nothing much I would like to comment on these first two weeks of school.

the same matters arose when timetable clashes here and there and we have only ample time to adjust our schedule properly. things get worsened when the lecturer changes the timetable, and we had to re-plan over and over again.

well. not to blame our lecturers, it is actually us, who should at least prepare an alternative.

as i sit back in my room on this saturday doing nothing,

the terms friends appear on my mind.

again.

tho i know we couldnt depend much on others, I couldnt deny much that at times we really need our friends.

but we cant simply expect them to understand us, and be there for us at all times, especially when they never had to walk our path.

Aku. Kategorikan kawan dalam banyak aspek. Mengikut pengalaman aku sendiri. Mengikut kehidupan yang aku sedang lalui.

1) Kawan yang ceria. Happy-go-lucky. Yang memang tak kering gusi kalau bersama.

2) Kawan yang kita jarang contact, tapi akan ada bersama di waktu susah, terus akan contact bila mana mereka terbaca status atau post kita yang mencurigakan.

3) Kawan yang setia "on" bila aku ajak belajar. Dan akan betul2 memberi sepenuh komitmen dalam perbincangan.

4) Kawan yang tidak pernah menolak bila kita minta pertolongan. Apa jua jenis pertolongan. Tak kiralah apa pun sejarah antara kita pernah berlaku.

5) Kawan yang suka memberi memberi pandangan dan nasihat yang sangat matang dan bernas. Orang2 inilah yang aku cari tiap aku mula indecisive tentang sesuatu perkara.

6) Kawan yang ingin bersama kami tapi menginginkan kami mengikut cara mereka.

7) Kawan yang terlalu open dalam mengkritik apa jua tentang kita. 

8) Kawan yang pendam semua benda, tidak pernah memberi respon walaupun kita cuba dekati mereka dengan lebih dekat.

9) Kawan yang tidak pernah kisah apa org lain rasa. Yang dia tau, kita sudah kawan, kenapa perlu terasa kalau apa2.. Itu persepsi mereka.

10) Kawan yang hanya hubungi kita, bila dia bosan, bila mereka tiada sesiapa, yang berani mengaku kebenaran kami hanya tempat lepas bosan. Dan kemudian hilang entah ke mana. Dan kembali hanya bila mereka bosan.

Yang terakhir sekali tu sangat mengecewakan kan? Tapi itulah hakikatnya. Lihat sekeliling dan memang orang2 sebgini lah yang kita ada dengan kita.

Entah diri kita sendiri pun macam ni, wallahu 'alam.

Pengalaman saya sendiri. Kenapa saya mempunyai terlalu ramai kawan.. Adalah mereka semua mempunyai karakter yang berlainan. Yang di sana sebegini Yang di sini pula lain.

Memang sukar nak dapat seorang kawan yang semua kita perlukan, ada pada mereka.

Expectation is the root of all heartaches.

Hakikatnya, kita tak boleh harap seorang kawan itu perfect.

Cuma, perkara utama adalah hormat.

Jangan ambil kesempatan atas sesiapa.

Jangan mentang2 tidak begitu rapat, atau terlalu rapat, kita boleh sesuka hati lakukan apa perkara sehingga boleh buat orang makan hati dalam diam.

Susah kalau dah berdendam.. Dan orang tak maafkan..

Aku bersyukur aku dapat macam2 jenis kawan.

Aku tak lagi harap mereka menjadi seorang kawan yang perfect..

Aku hanya harap, 

orang2 yang aku gelar kawan, 

yang pernah menjadi kawan aku, 

tak pernah lupa yang aku juga pernah berkawan dengan mereka.

kepada kawan2 yang aku dah jarang contact,

kepada yang dah lama atau tiba2 menghilangkan diri, 

you know who you are, 

sesungguhnya aku tak pernah berhenti merindu.

aku hanya teruskan perjalanan,
walau tak ada korang kat sisi aku.

what matters most, du'a.

والله أعلم بالصواب

Cuti Sem. Kerja. Ujian.

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

ok first of all. let me tell ya. im a happy girllll cause i get this cute stuffed minion toys from brother and sister... heheh 

*******************************************************

ok sedia maklum... sekali lagi saya mungkir janji untuk update blogs. it has been a hectic holiday. sangat2 kecoh dan macam2 yang terjadi.

sila lah baca dari mula sampai habis ye :p

********************************************************

ingat lagi tak psot sebelum ni saya ada kata nak update pasal jodoh?

entah kenapa tak terupdate.

isu nya macam terlalu sensitif pada diri sendiri.

so i decide to just keep it to my self.

apa yangsaya tau, sekarang semakin ramai kawan2 yang dah mendirikan rumahtangga,

dah tunang, dan menunggu hari bahagia.

dan soalan paling popular masa kini

"ika, bila nak habis belajar? lambatlah kahwin nanti."

maaf. tapi lama-kelamaan malas rasanya nak menjawab soalan yang seolah2 mempersolakn takdir yang telah Allah tetapkan.

*********************************************************

holiday kali ni ada semester break yang sangat2 mencabar.

minggu pertama sibuk mencari kerja. tapi takde rezeki. 

minggu kedua puasa, masa tu dah dapat kerja, timbul dugaan.

mak tersandung kaki kat kaki meja. patah jari kaki.

mak yang memang ada arthritis, tulang sngt sensitif, tersandung pun boleh patah jari dia.

sampai skrg berbalut kaki mak, dan masih belum lagi pulih sepenuhnya. bahkan belum tegak lagi pun jari yang patah tu. masih lagi senget. :/

tak lama lepas tu. adik pula operation. operation tonsil. mmg ni generic. hampir semua family members ada tonsilities. walaupun tak lah serious mana, tapi banyak pantang larang dalam pemakanan.

adik operation beberapa lepas jari kaki mak patah, dan masa tu saya dah sibuk kerja. 

dugaan betul bila kene amik off sebab nak jaga ni dua orang. 

tak nak ganggu kakak masa tu sbb dia pun baru dapat kerja baru.

alhamdulillah leave approved. walaupun unpaid. 

keluarga lagi penting kan?.

minor surgery tonsil adik went smoothly.

tapi tak lama. kalau dah nama pon lelaki.. active. sehari lepas operation boleh pulak dia keluar berjalan dengan kawan, cari songkok raya katanya.

tak lama lepas tu, bleeding dari urat2 kat tekak dia tu.

dan budak ini sangat lah pandai, ditelannya darah2 tu bukan nak muntahkan.

bila lama dia complain perut sebu, dan satu hari tu terus muntah darah, 

terus lah kite ke hospital. and there it goes, 2nd surgery.

sedut darah beku kat perut.

masa tu pulak, malam rayaaaa !

so yah. tahun ni kita semua tak beraya.

malam raya, pagi raya, kat hospital..

walaupun saya dpt cuti raya 5 hari, tapi kita semua duduk rumah.

sebab adik dan mak tak sihat. maka semua sekali perintah berkurung.

so. lepas cuti raya 5 hari, kita sambung kerja balik. nothing much for raya.

collection pon tak dpt bnyk tahun nie.

tapi dapat lah cover dgn duit gaji 

memang dugaan. banyak kos keluar beberapa bulan nie.

and i have to take the initiatives to help whats needed.

dengan nak masuk sem baru, duit buku... dan macam2 lagi.

sumpah dalam otak hanya satu, 

i cant depend 100% on my parents.

*************************************************

ok kisah kerja.

saya kerja di pactera international di Alexendra terrace di Singapura.

jauh. dari woodlands akan makan masa satu stgh jam travel.

perlu naik bus untuk ke MRT station. and kene transit dua kali, tukar2 MRT. and finally, kene jalan 15 minit utk sampai ke office.

mula2 dapat call kerja time hari perama puasa tu, dia kata position yg kita dapat is Hardware Tester.

company tu kalau tak silap provide quality control for HP prototype printers. 

so we need to test the quality.

i was damn worried sbb saya mmg tak tau menau pasal hardware atau printer2 ni.

tapi fikir nak kerja, saya teruskan jugak.

paling tak best. tak ada tempat solat yang proper.

bila ditanya pada staff cina kat situ, saya kena marah.

dia kata "thats ur personal thing. not our problem"

huish. sakit betul hati kita ni haaa.

kata negara "regardless of race, language or religion"? 

tapi nak buat mcm mane kan...negara bukan islam.....

sehari dua kat pactera, mmg rasa nak give up. rasa semua tak kena.

kerja apalah yang saya buat nie.. dengan tgk keadaan sekeliling...

maaf cakap, masa tu bulan puasa, tapi yg melayu nya, hampir semua tak puasa. 

pergi rokok, pergi makan sama2. makan depan2 kita lagi,

pantang betull..

tapi..... lama kelamaan, saya faham keadaan nie.

saya kaji balik. i have never went thru their paths and i have no idea how it is, at all.

saya silap dengan menghukum mereka begitu saja.

saya kenal diri saya sebelum nie.

saya tak suka bergaul dengan mereka yg sekepala dengan saya. 

tp kawan2 kat tempat kerja sumpah semua baik2. 

dari hardware tester, saya terus ke bahagia Data Team.

more to computer works. excels. alhamdulillah. i prefer that moreee.

semakin hari semakin rapat dengan kawan2.

kawan2 pon boleh terima saya walaupun ade di antara mereka gelar saya ustazah.

kita tetap boleh gila2 sama2. 

never did I expect, i've changed alot.

tak sangka, skrg saya boleh kawan dengan semua orang.

tak kisah pun siapa, dan mcm mana rupa org tu sekalipun (:

and guess what?. kat situ ramai kawan2 kerja yang umur 20 tahun and below !

hahaha. 

ingat lagi saya pernah kata saya tak suka bergaul dengan budak kecik?

tapi budak2 ni lah my happy pills at workkk..

andddd

at first, they thought i'm 18 years oldd ! wheeee.

ok. tentang tempat solat, saya jumpa tempat kat tepi tangga. 

alhdmulillah takde org lalu, and situ tempat few org2 solat jugak.

so, adalah member nak solat sama.

i had a great team in pactera. i love the job.

but the sad thg is, its just temporary, cause i'm schooling, obviously.

pactera request saya utk extend contract.. tapi malangnya mmg tak boleh...

tapi alhamdulillah the good news is, they welcome me anytimeeee .. hehe

so lepas ni, cuti, tak yah risau lagi dah, ada tempat untuk kerja.

terharu rasa bila kita dah jadi org kepercayaan syarikat. 

and orang hargai kerja kita selama ni walaupun tak lama (:

**************************************************

dalam pada tengah happy dengan kerja. beberapa hari sebeleum berhenti kerja, 

dapat berita anak buah kemalangan. jatuh kat playground katanya.

habis patah kedua-dua belah pergelangan dia. 

tak sampai hati kan? tebayang2 diri sendiri kalau lah kita yang patah dua2 tangan..

doakan anak buah saya, Ilham Fatih cepat sembuh ya (:

***************************************************

tulah summary on what has happened throughout my semester break.

tapi saya yakin. dugaan dan ujian buat kita lebih dekat pada Nya.

***************************************************

insyaAllah see you guys in the next post.

regarding the 2nd batch's RSS recognition.

EMPIRE PUMA is awesomely awesome

Next post will simply tell all. 

Tunggu lah. Hehe.

*****************************************************

والله أعلم بالصواب

Kawan. Part 2.

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Okay. Recalling the previous post regarding friends. The post entitled "Kawan". 

I am not going to talk much about this.

Friendship is something that is actually undefined by words.

No terms "bestfriend forever" exist in real life.

For all we should know,

harsh fact of life is that people come and go.

And friends, they come into our lives for two reasons.

Either as blessings or lessons.

I came across a status in FB. Written by someone whom I've never known yet I just love what he said.

And I'm going to share this. And yes, its a copy-paste.

Cause his words are just as perfect as anyone could ever thought of.

Every single phrase was awesome It suits our real life situation.

Everything that usually happens among friends.

A true fact. That one can never deny.

So here it is. Those words written by a guy named Matthew Zachary Liu

Friends drift apart all the time. Groups of friends we might have known from childhood, secondary school, poly or university will dwindle over time for varied reasons. You could be the"best of friends", sharing personal secrets and hanging out almost everyday but become awkward strangers the next season..

Friendship is really just one of those indefinable words that mean different things to different people at different times. Most friendships are transient, they come and go with time, place and circumstances. Acquaintances may turn into friends, friends may turn into strangers.

Its sad but some friendships are just not meant to last. People change, priorities defer, situations occur.. we change. I personally don't believe in the whole calling each other "best friends forever"..

Imagine if you go around declaring that a certain person is your "bff" but after a petty quarrel, you never speak to each other ever again (almost true story). That'll certainly be a joke, wouldn't it?

I've learned that true friendship doesn't need to be labeled or broadcasted with such terms, its simply a special relationship between you and whoever.

Anyway, I was just thinking about a certain something regarding friendship.. more often then not, friends fall out because of a misunderstanding. But I guess sometimes, when deep down we feel that it'd be such a waste to let a particular friendship be destroyed like that, we should just put our pride and ego aside and take the initiative in saying "hey, we need to talk"..

Have a heart to heart talk and thrash things out face to face, not talk behind each other's back creating a series of negative repercussions and animosity. Because its all these bitching over a certain misunderstanding that destroys friendships and relationships, not just our own but the people around us as well.

Even if resolving the friendship is beyond hope, we shouldn’t ever go so low as to kiss-and-tell. Certain friendships may not always have a happy continuation, but their past values should never be negated.

Incidents will sometimes happen, but the secrets and memories shared should always remain special. Sacred. Its stupid to deny or tarnish the value of those memories.

Its also extremely degrading when one starts dishing out all the dirt in a fit of emotional fury or for revenge. Personally, I really don't think we should ever disrespect another in the eyes of others just because they longer fit into our life.

The thing is, we are actually a sum total of all our relationships, past and present, mixed together with our own peculiar personality. Every single person we've met along the way, no matter how long we've known them or how much we've shared during those times, have definitely made us who we are today in little ways we might not even have realized ourselves.

All these people are there for a reason. They give meaning and often leave an impact at various stages of our lives. And its all these special moments that are to be treasured because although friendships may not always last forever, its these memories that do..

*******************************************************

This whole piece of thing moves my heart. He mentioned every single thing that I believe might had happened to anyone in the whole wide world. 

Read between the lines and you know exactly I'm feeling right now.

Friendship breaks. Relationships breaks. Feelings fade. Situation occurs.

But memories remain.

The value of memories that eventually and indirectly brings the maturity in each and everyone of us.

I hold no revenge for whatever that has happened in my past between my old friends and I.

I hold not regrets in knowing those who walked off just like that. 

Yes I do dwell. But this Matthew had made me realise that friends, 

will always be friends. No more.

**********************************************

Friendship is made in the heart.

Silent. Unwritten.

Unbreakable by distance.

Unchangeable by time.

Once a friend,

always a friend.

Well that was then.

والله أعلم بالصواب

People Change

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

 Assalamualaikum wr wb. Okay Salam Ramadhan to everyone and today's topic is such a cliche as you can see there. People Change.

I used to dwell so much when I tend to lose some people in life. Keep wondering why have they changed so much and simply walked off. I wonder why some relationship doesnt turn out well even though it had been for so many years. I just wonder why do people change.

Well to think of it back. Everyone change. For as time passes we cant really hope things would remain the same. Feelings fade. And #facts, we are human beings, and hati manusia tak pernah tetap. Sedang dgn Allah je boleh goyang apatah lagi dengan perkara lain kat dunia nie.

I had a hard time reflecting on this, and yes, I finally agree that, people change. And so do I.

Yesterday as I had my fingers on the keyboards, I browsed through 3 of private blogs which they were all last updated in 2010. I got damn speechless when most of the posts were all poems and some kinda of nukilan here and there. And there it goes, how I realise, how much I've really changed ><

Siapa sangka saya mampu mengarang puisi? Cerpen?. Nukilan2 yang jiwang-jiwang belaka?. Yang mana bila saya sendiri baca sekarang, sampai terasa menusuk kalbu. Sampai tak percaya, itu hasil nukilan saya ke?. Biar betul?.

Saya duduk entah berapa lama semalam. Cuba nak mengarang beberapa rangkap puisi pon tak mampu. Tergagap-gagap. Mulut terkumat kamit tapi entah apa yang cuba nak disampaikan. Bahasa pun tak pandai dah nak berbunga2. Idea ada, "object" nya dah ada. Hati ligat berbisik2. Tapi entah kenapa tak terluah langsung. Sama ada kat kertas, atau kat Microsoft Word nie. 

I sat back and had a deep thought, where is the old me?. T.T

Writing was my passion. Benda2 sentimental memang itu jiwa saya.

But what happened now?. >< Sekarang seolah2 hati ni dah jadi keras. 

Well I guess the personality test has proven all. Dari phlegmatic ke sanguine, ke choleric. Lebih outspoken, tak suka lagi nak pendam2. Tak suka lagi nak berkias bahasa. Lebih suka berterus terang. 

Sebab tu ke skill menulis hilang?. 

Tak nafi, beberapa nukilan hampir buat saya termuntah sendiri, atas sebab jiwang yang teramat. Tapi ada juga yang menusuk jauh sampai ke dasar hati. Betapa halusnya jiwa dulu. Berbanding sekarang. Boleh tengok dari cara saya tulis semua post kan?. ><

Betul kata Abg Mirul. Betul kata Atikah Zakaria. Now I found the reasons why we are required to write. Bila baca balik semua post kat blog2 lama tuh, sesungguhnya, baru saya sedar, saya dah banyak berubah. Entah macam mana hati boleh jadi keras macam skrg ni. Entah macam mana ego boleh meninggi tak macam dulu. Lebih suka mengalah. Lebih suka appreciate orang dalam kata-kata. Ada aje post yg ditujukan untuk kengkawan. Sbb nak hargai dorang.. Tak kira kawan lelaki atau perempuan.

Sekarang?. "Tak nak lah. Nanti makwe dorang marah pulak." "Tak nak lah. Nanti orang termuntah pulak.. Benda kecik pon nak berpuisi bagai..". "Buat puisi utk perempuan?. Mcm lain mcm aje?."

Well I did that back then ! I really did. Bila baca balik. Dan ingat balik. Dulu bangga adalah bila menulis untuk orang. Tak pernah kisah pon apa orang fikir. Yang penting kita nak orang tu baca dan tau kita memang sayang dia, sbb tu mention kat blog Sekarang?. *tariknafasdalamdalam*

We are not getting any younger and we just cant turn back the time. I am who I am right now. Whoever I used to be in the past shall be a lesson to be,as well as a step for me to keep on moving forward, being a better one in the future. Mana tau, bakat menulis tu satu hari tiba2 datang balik kan?.

Cause what I can really say now,

I miss writing. Writing with deep passion. 

Okay stay tuned for the next post. Its about Jodoh.

Okay, JODOH PART 2.

Since I wrote one about this much earlier.

And be ready.

Im gonna include one of my nukilan in the next post.

Be ready not to vomit. :p

Precious One from HEP and SERU (:

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Being active is not what I have ever planned especially during the first year in University of Malaya. My initial aim was to focus 100% on studies and never did I care of collecting any certificates of any activities. 

I could still remember how I could get involved in SERU. Attended the Profiling Workshop on March 2012, well actually forced by a best friend classmate named Azim Rahmat from the same faculty. Frankly, I continue to continuously be active, be it SERU programmes, or faculty programmes as well as college programmes. Semua nak join. Well that what happens right after I knew SERU. 

Yeah. Huge thanks to SERU (:

As I mentioned earlier on, never did I expect I could make a lot of changes in just one year. It was beyond my own control, and not even in any of my plans or targets. But I believe this must all be HIS plans. And afterall, there is nothing wrong at all to be active, to collect any certs while you are in university. I strongly believe, all these could help in our CV. 

Okay. Inilah hasilnya. Serious demi Allah tak sangka sangat. Baru setahun. Walaupun rasa tak pernah 100% commit, tapi alhamdulillah, kepercayaan yang HEP dan SERU bagi amat lah berharga pada saya.

Gambar paling bermakna :p Selama ni lagi2 masa jadi SU, duk tulis surat, proposal, laporan, beri pada beliau untuk pengesahan dan kelulusan. Kali ni dapat bergambar. Jyeah.

TNC HEP UM. Datuk Dr. Rohana Yusof (:

Anugerah HEP 2013

Salah seorang penerima Anugerah Setia Bakti HEP di bawah SERU (:

Bersama Presiden Kolej-8 yang sangat sempoi.

Bersama YDP MPPUM.

 Ridhwan. Jayasri. Atiqah. Firman. Penerima Anugerah Setia Bakti - SERU.

What most interesting is Datuk TNC said that perhaps next year's award, they are planning to sponsor the best students to other Best Uni in ASIAN. Hihihi.

Moh le active2 kan diri dengan aktiviti HEP. Hihihi.

Terima kasih SERU. Terima kasih HEP (:

Ok till here.

والله أعلم بالصواب

May 2013. PESTA KO-K 2013. (:

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Okay previous post was about Accounting Night. Nothing special throughout May 2013. I was busy with assignments, as well preparing report for Accounting Night 2013. May was such a haywire I shall say. Plus, having to prepare for finals. Ohmy. I was damn shagged at some moments. Yet alhamdulillah. I managed to get over it. Jyeah.

Despite all the heavy assignments almost every week, as well as presentations, seriously I just couldnt believe I could get it done. I almost gave up and h*** no. I did it (: 

But what was so special about May is, errr... Hmm General Election 13 ? Haha.

Well not much experience in this as I am not eligible to vote. Err no I am not underage. Please. I am 22 this year. Haha.  It was simply because I am not a Malaysian. Zzz. 

Okay lets not talk about politics. *saya tau okay pasal semua parti di Malaysia*. Lets not create controversial issues that might be sensitive to some other parties. Lets just keep private and confidential. Tunggu lah nanti bila dah tukar kerakyaran Malaysia, baru lah kita boleh bicara pasal hal politik Malaysia sama-sama ye. Kang tak pasal, saya kena tendang keluar dari negeri ni... Haha sob sob.

Okay back to the main point. What's about May?.

May ? PESTA KO-K ! Remember that all coachees and peer coaches were actually required to attend this Pesta Ko-K? I was so excited when Abg Mirul made it compulsory for us to attend. Know why? Sebab saya perform ! 

I made such a big difference in my life this semester when I entered Malay Folk Dance as my co-curriculum. Could still remember how my closed ones reacted the very first moments they got to know about this. 

"ika masuk tarian ?! biar betul. dah lah kasar. haha boleh ke nak menari? confirm kaku."

Couldnt care much about that. Well initially I had a very hard time to practice, and I had no confidence at all to perform this infront of so many people. Lagi2 bila dapat tau kat DTC? Nooo. I scared that I might have the stage freight. I'll be dead meat. That was what I thought.

But have a look on the pictures below. Type of Folk Dance performed : Tarian Joget

During our Final Rehearsal

My Dance Partner, Aizul.

With those from Korea !

With one of the Inang Dancer, cum my own classmate, Nadia !

With our Dance Instructor throughout the semester. Cikgu Siti <3

Looks who's coming to the front ! Heheheh.

And we were at the centre of the DTC stage. Bare foot okay. 

Centre of Attraction ? :p

Reaching the end of the performance.

Closing (': Finallyyyy.... After 14 weeks ~

Percaya tak ni Nur Atiqah Abdul Malik ? ;D

Well Just feel like laughing to see all these. Nampak ayu tak? Tak sangka kan? Hahah the one whom people always call as gangster, is finally dancinggg. Hahah tarian melayu lak tu. ;)

To be honest, I was actually quite disappointed as no one from my Empire Puma members managed to stay up till our tarian performance. Well yeah, tarian kami persembahan terakhir. Dah pukul 10 setengah malam masa tu. Fully understood but I just wished if all RSS members were there )':

Nevertheless I made it. Neither did I have any stage freight. And not forgetting, huge thanks to RSS buddy, Harif Harun as he was the only one who stayed from the very beginning of the pesta, till the very end our performance. At least, his presence as one of our RSS members, cum one of my best friends, cheered me up that night. Seriously Rif, thank you lah weh. Tak lupa jasa kau. 

Banyak perubahan yang aku berjaya buat pada semester nie. And who has ever expected this? Neither did I. Alhamdulillah. As time passes, we do learn alot. And jyeah, there goes the saying;

learning is a continuous process. :D

so never hesitate to make a change in your life. You never know if it could benefit you more that you could ever think of. (:

والله أعلم بالصواب

Those Secretary Days.

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

It is supposed to be the 3rd post since 8th June 2013 but something just cocked up and I was not able to update blog as required. So much things happened around these 2 months. And to be honest, they are all actually indescribable by words.

I am not the type who have much wisdom to share any kind of motivational or inspirational post. I, myself, am learning to be as matured as I could. And all my posts have been about my own experiences. Too bad readers, this time round it's gonna be same thing :p

Perhaps you might want to really read between the lines of what I am about to convey.

I hope everyone could still remember, I have once told ya about me being the secretary of Accounting Night 2013. So let me just share bits of it yah.

Accounting Night 2013 was held on 27th April 2013 which fell on Saturday. Alhamdulillah everything went smoothly as planned except for the delay of our Dean from our own faculty. 

Okay not going to talk about the entire event. But being secretary is not as easy as I could ever think before. Well I do love doing reports. I do love writing letters. Well I really thought I could enjoy things.

I am not being racist. Well I hate racism. But it was just hard to work with a bunch of big group, and me, being the only malay girl in the central committee. As aware guys, as I have told you like so many times before, I have never ever joined any program before (other than SERU), so I do not have much experience working with the Chinese. It was awkward and I tend to isolate myself at certain times.

I am sorry to put at the evaluation form, blaming my mates for communicating in thier language and made my self isolated for that reason. Initially I though it was rude. And I have to gain my respect. That WAS WHAT I THOUGHT in the very first place. But to think of it back, as I sit back and think thoroughly all that I have done throughout the event, I did not at all blame my mates for communicating in their languages.

I am the one to blame for I have actually learned Mandarin and Chinese for more than one year during my 2nd year Diploma and worst, I forgot them all. I cant even recall any single common phrase. I did not practice and there it goes, I learn for nothing. Only then I realise, how important is Mandarin in our society now. Kalau saya praktikkan ilmu tu dari dulu, tentunya sekarang tak menjadi apa2 masalah.

Could still remember my 3rd coaching session with my coachees, where I let out all these to my coachees. And Eddie (Edwin Jelenggai) just simply said this one sentence, that made me realised that it was entirely my own mistakes. Why should I blame others?

Eddie cakap : "Kak Tiqa belajar lah cakap Cina. Itu sahaja caranya."

Sentap. Sentap sangat. Cause what I did was like trying to run away from problems by isolating myself and giving excuses, not mixing around with my own committee. 

Well. Any Chinese friends, if you are reading this, please note that I deeply apologise for this. Trust me. We could all still work together if we understand each other well. Regardless of our race. (:

Other than that, being a secretary helps me alot in terms of knowing soooooooo many stuffs. Be it in the faculty staffs, other faculty's, as well as HEP's staffs. It was fun. And indeed peeps, it is such a pleasure when others know you as well. Hehe. 

Being a secretary helps me to be more open. Cause we deal with other parties. And there goes entirely my Phlegmatic-ness, and I am able to negotiate things with people, being a lil bit dominant, and get things done as it should. Patience is all we need.

So guys, I learn a lesson. 

Never be afraid to try something new. Cause if we have faith in ourselves, and leave the rest to HIM, the knowledge and experiences, as well as the lessons, that we'll gain is so much valuable that we could ever thought. 

Well. And as for this,

THANK YOU UNIVERSITY OF MALAYA ACCOUNTING CLUB.

THANK YOU ACCOUNTING NIGHT 2013 (:

والله أعلم بالصواب

Tunggu next post ! I am writingggg. Hehe.

SMK Mergong, Kedah. 1001 Pengajaran.

بسم الله الرّحمن الرّحيم

Assalamualaikum everyone. Okay lama kan tak update? 

A lot of things to be shared yet the time is just so limited.

the last 2 -3 weeks were the most busiest moments, till I didnt even have a look at my own blog.

Oh well. Tomorrow's May ! How time flies.

What happened the last few weeks have really impacted me like alottttttttttt. Things happened too fast.

And how I just hope I could turn back the time, rewind every single moments, till I have no regrets.

Okay what were the most memorable thing that I have been mentioning?

It was actually the involvement as facilitator, under Kolej Kediaman Raja Dr Nazrin Shah's Facililtator Convention.

The last 2 post if I am not mistaken, the one that I shared about Kem Kembara Gemilang, if you could still remember.

YES ! Itulah programnya.

KEM KEMBARA GEMILANG.

My initial plan is just to have a visit to Kedah, as I have never ever been there before.

I didnt take seriously on what I have to do there.

All I just wanted is to have a sweet escape.

But everything changed when I met all the SPM students of SMK Mergong (Alor Setar, Kedah).

These kids were the excels but yet they are the potential ones.

We made alot of activities for them and mostly were academic and self reflection.

At first we thought these kids wont be able to get along with us.

Especially me.

But as hours passed, alhamdulillah, we managed to bring these kids to our goals.

Well I could still remember the moment when we, the facis have our own group of SPM student, and we are required to make them share with us what are their goals in life, in 3 dimension. 6 months from now, which is their SPM moment, 5 years, and 10 years from now.

It was disheartening when majority of them did not know what they are going to be. Its like they have no ambitions. It was indeed surprising when some of the girls simply said

"Ape lagi kak, 5 dan 10 tahun dari sekarang, dah kawen lah, dah de anak, duduk rumah, jaga dorang.."

Why do I say I was surprised is because, they are in he science stream, add maths, accounts, and other good academic course they are taking.

But why on earth do these kids have no intention at all to be "someone"? To make all their efforts throughout their school life worthwhile?

Well that was the moment when we scolded them, and advised them to have at least a goal in your life, on what they are going to be, on what they are wishing to be, and on how they are going to repay their parents, their families, for all the endless deeds they made.

Takkan tak terlintas langsung nak jadi sesorang yang berjaya dalam akademik?

Tak teringin nak ada kerja bagus?

Tak teringin nak simpan duit banyak2, pergi haji ke, bawak mak ayah tu pergi mana2 ke.

Tak teringin nak ada kereta sendiri dengan duit sendiri hasil kerja titik peluh sendiri?

Tak teringin nak manfaat segala ilmu yang dah bertahun belajar kat sekolah?
Nak biar macam gitu aje segala usaha masa kat sekolah?

Itulah nasihat yang kami beri. Yang saya beri pada mereka.

Sumpah masa nasihat adik2 ni, terus tersentap sekejap, rasa macam nak nangis pun ada.

Terus terbayang diri 5-10 tahun lepas, yang sesungguhnya sama macam adik2 ni, bahkan lagi teruk.

Saya, seorang yang suka berputus asa, tak ingin mencuba, katak bawah tempurung, asik berserah pada takdir.

Halangan kejayaan saya jadiakn sebab untuk tak terus ke hadapan.

Cita-cita nak jadi doktor perubatan, terkubur macam gitu dengan alasan, tak pandai2 belajar sains.

Result pon asik teruk. Tak langsung nak usaha untuk tingkatkan diri.

AKhirnya, takde pilihan, terima pendapat orang, untuk amik course, yang memang tak terlintas pun dalam fikiran.

Kalau lah saya boleh putar masa balik, 10 tahun dari lepas, sebelum naik ke tingkatan 1 lagi, saya nak betul2, buktikan yang saya tak lemah. Masalah kesihatan yg menjadi punca saya sering hilang fokus, saya nak jadikan ia satu motivasi. Satu inspirasi, untuk tak kecewakan mak abah yang habis duit banyak untuk saya.

Kenapa tak fikir macam gitu dulu?.

Hati ni merintih Allah aje tau...Sesalnya dalam dada ni, sampai ke hari ni masih terasa.

That was exactly how I felt during the sharing session with the SPM kids.

Tanpa segan silu, saya kongsi semua tentang diri saya dulu, dan sekarang.

Tujuan hanya satu, 

I wouldnt want them to be like me, at all.

Sekarang ni lah(waktu SPM) waktu nak tentukan bidang mana yang akan kita ceburi nanti,

jadi takde penyesalan di kemudian hari. Biar kita ambil sesuatu yang kita suka, yang kita mau, biar kita yang decide, sbb hanya kita yang tau arah tuju kita..

Minta restu mak ayah, in shaa Allah semua akan dipermudahkan.

Right after the session, deep inside I was crying, and I set a resolution.

Saya set azam saya. Saya set goals saya 2 tahun dari sekarang lepas grad, 5 tahun dari sekarang dan 10 tahun dari sekarang.

In shaa Allah saya kan pastikan kali ni tak terabai lagi cita-cita saya. Tak kelaut.

Cukup lah sekali menyesal.

Tak nak menyesal lagi.

Saya nak jadi orang berjaya.

Yang mak abah akan bangga dengan saya.

Nak tebus balik semua kesilapan dulu

Huge thanks to this program,

bukan sahaja contribute pada masyarakat, pada adik2 kat Alor Setar,

tapi juga banyak beri impact positive pada diri sendiri..

Betul lah kata orang, bila kita nasihat orang dengan tujuan yang betul, nasihat tu jugak akan dituju pada diri sendiri, dan seriously akan tertanam dalam diri.

Terima kasih Adik2 SMK Mergong, terima kasih Kem Kembara,

Terima kasih teammate fasilitator SMK Mergong,

Hazwan, Oyok, Syafiq, Anis, Hajar, Mega, Sath dan Dewi.

Satu pengalaman yang takkan saya lupakan. 

Okay ni ada sikit kenangan bersama mereka (:

Nak tengok gambar lebih2, boleh ke link di bawah ini (:

I wish to meet them again :')

I wish to go to this kind of program once again.

Kalau ada tau ada program macam gini lagi,

please do contact me yah (: